My Blog turns 'One' this month and I am extremely happy and ecstatic about it as I think I have done something meaningful in my life like Julie Powell in the Oscar nominated flick "Julie & Julia". So I would like to commemorate this blog to "Happiness" per se. Are you happy ?...Can you measure your happiness ?...What is the yardstick ?...I too am perplexed. According to a popular credit card company, there are some things money can't buy. The Beatles would put love on that list. Many people would add intelligence or talent. But surely happiness could be had for a cool one or two million dollars...What Say? After all, what person doesn't feel a surge of positive emotions upon finding a thousand rupee note on the sidewalk or at the thought of winning the lottery? If only you had a bit of extra cash to throw around, you could quit your job, buy an island in the Caribbean and relax on the beach for the rest of your life.
THE RESEARCH : Many psychologists and economists who have studied the relationship between money and happiness paint a different picture. According to them, you'd likely grow tired of your cabana in a matter of years. You see, people have an astonishing ability to adapt to all sorts of situations. It means you'd quickly grow accustomed to a life of affluence. A shiny red Ferrari and a new penthouse would be great for a while, but after a few days or weeks, their newness would wear off, and you'd go in search of the next best thing. Even surveys of lottery winners indicate that their initial joy at hitting the jackpot wears off in just a few months. To most including my younger brother, happiness can be bought with money. According to him, if you are wealthy enough, then you are happy...being affluent is the cure for all ills which befall upon us. By his yardstick, you can even buy happiness with the ample wealth you have created. If such was the case, then all wealthy people would never die of terminal illness, no wealthy couple would ever get divorced or be childless and so on...certain things in life will always remain in the hands of nature and the Almighty. I fail to agree with his opinion and many others who have this materialistic attitude towards happiness. In my opinion and even according to the researchers as explained above, Happiness is a state of mind and can be attained even without superfluous wealth. If you can tune your mind to get happiness out of the simple & little things in life, then I'm sure you will no longer long for material happiness...even if such a concept exists then most of the times it is momentary. To me, material happiness is akin to mere satisfaction of your long standing desires and wants. Me and my brother always have these never-ending debates on the dinner table about wealth and its effect on happiness if any, but alas neither of us emerges a winner. However, I am happy to learn that I am a winner to an extent within my mental faculties as to what constitutes happiness.
The one place that money and happiness are significantly linked is when a person is unable to afford his basic needs. There is an appreciable difference in levels of happiness between those below the poverty level and those above it. Homeless people in Calcutta, for instance, score a mere 2.9 on a 7-point scale of happiness, while multimillionaires in the United States rank themselves a cheery 5.8. Once people pass that poverty threshold, though, the money boost tapers off; Inuits in Greenland and Masai ranchers living in Kenyan dung huts are just as happy as the high-society Americans [Source: Begley]. So while the Warren Buffetts of the world are indeed more content than beggars on the street, they're not a whole lot happier than people who herd cattle for a living.Such data may leave all you lottery-playing hopefuls out there feeling rather dejected. But don't lose heart just yet...there are more effective paths to happiness than just hitting the jackpot. On a similar note, people also tend to report higher levels of satisfaction after spending money on experiences rather than things. For instance, purchasing tickets to a movie with a group of friends is likely to make you feel much better than impulsively buying a T-shirt at the mall. While the positive feelings associated with the movie outing can be relived again and again, the T-shirt's novelty will probably wear off after a couple of washes.
Basically, what all of this data about money and happiness tells us is that it's called cold hard cash for a reason. You can buy all of the flashy cars, Armani suits and diamond rings you want, but at the end of the day, you're going to be the same person...just with more stuff. Without the things that research tells us are the real sources of happiness...social connections, challenging work, success, good health...you're not going to get very far in your new set of wheels. So money doesn't buy happiness after all...but success does...as US president Franklin Roosevelt once said, "happiness doesn't lie in the mere possession of money but lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort"...working hard and thereafter having succeeded in any field whatsoever it may be. If you like what you are doing for a living then you will be cheerful and happy than the person who detests his work...money is just a by-product of that happiness.
THE 'SECRET' DEBATE : I hope many of you must have read or seen Rhonda Byrne's top selling "The Secret" wherein the basic tenet is that an individual's focused positive thinking and the "Law of Attraction" can result in life-changing results such as increased wealth, health, happiness and more. The book gained a high profile in the United States after being featured in two episodes of the Oprah Winfrey show. Other celebrities such as Ellen DeGeneres and Larry King also reviewed and/or covered the book, and in each case expressed their belief in the system or skepticism of its claims. But the book has also reached a high level of notoriety and criticism from those who claim that the book misleads readers with its claims of positive thinking being able to influence a reader's life and real-world outcomes. The claims made by both the book and film have been highly controversial, and have been criticized by reviewers and readers in both traditional and web-based media. The book has also been heavily criticized by former believers and practitioners, with some going as far as claiming that "the secret" was conceived by the author and that the only people generating wealth and happiness from it are the author and the publishers. Others assert "The Secret" offers false hope to those in true need of more conventional assistance in their lives. In 2009, Ehrenreich published Bright-Sided: How the relentless promotion of Positive Thinking has undermined America as a response to "positive thinking" books, like The Secret, that teach "if I just change my thoughts, I could have it all". She worried this was delusional or even dangerous because it avoided dealing with the real sources behind problems. It encouraged "victim-blaming, political complacency, and a culture-wide flight from realism" by suggesting failure is the result of not trying "hard enough" or believing "firmly enough in the inevitability of your success".(Source : Wikipedia) I definitely like the positive aspect of the author's rationale in the book to achieve happiness and other things in life. But if you look at its criticism, then the same also holds true and cannot be ignored. So the world itself is divided and debating as to what constitutes happiness and how to attain it.
MY THOUGHTS : In my opinion, the happiness quotient (i.e. the degree/measure of happiness) changes with each passing day i.e. with age and maturity. When we are young and in college, most of us feel that happiness lies in the things we can't afford at that age...the luxurious mansion, the Harley Davidson, the Gucci dress or the Mercedes. But as we grow old and have fulfilled all our basic necessities and to some extent the luxuries money can buy, we are still looking for more material things to bring the " supposed happiness " into our life as one greedy pig. 'That is life' as the majority would say. Money can buy us all the material luxuries in the world and the 'Alexander type' happy feeling to have conquered it all with it (I would like to call it adulterated happiness, if at all it is happiness...better still it is false pride) but most of the times it cannot buy us the ultimate pure joy and happiness.
From my experience till date, the pure delight and contentment you get in : Giving (in whatsoever manner) to the underprivileged, paying for a poor child's education, putting food in an impoverished man's mouth, doing a small gesture such as helping a visually impaired man cross the street, meeting and partying with your long-lost school buddies, watching your kid excel at any sport in school, watching your daughter topping her class in school/college, getting her first job or even excercising towards getting healthy and fit lies on a much much higher pedestal than material happiness. Let me explain it with a personal example. With God's blessings, I could finally, after years of hard work afford to buy an independent personal car (though a material thing) for my better half (better late than never..ha..ha...no she kinda deserved it) but the feeling of happiness and joy it brought me was way more than if I had bought some thing equally expensive for myself. I hope you understand what I mean. The happiness which this gesture has embedded in my mind was not at all material and I will proudly take it to my grave. 'Just Give' and your happiness doubles...quadruples...it will be everlasting, but if you buy only for yourself your happiness will be very shortlived. The former kind gives you immense joy which is way more than you might get flaunting your luxurious Mansion, Armani dress, Solitaires or a Merc. Once you have conquered this level of happiness, I'm sure you would have attained the "Ultimate Nirvana". So wouldn't it be better for all of us, if we try to look for this kind of happiness in life and not just material happiness?(reiterating, I doubt if such a kind of happiness is true happiness at all ??? rather it in fact is impure; having side-effects full of persistent insatiability...Do send in your views and comments.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
ME & MY BEST FRIEND...
Hi Friends, I apologize for the long pause between my last blog and this one. Actually, I wasn't able to zero in on any inspirational topic. Nothing made news worthy enough to write about. That's when I thought of my best friend who always comes to my mercy. I have been wanting to write a piece on my best friend since many years now, but somehow have always procrastinated. But not anymore, as I have got an excellent medium to express my feelings unabashed through this blog.
We are in 2010 and I have walked this mother earth for more than forty years. Now that I have travelled the world a bit (of course courtesy my best friend), done this and that to get somewhat vulnerable but a little wordly wise too, I think I can contribute a little by dedicating this blog to my dearest friend. Don't be alarmed if I tell you that he is nobody other than 'GOD' himself. I truly consider myself as my God’s chosen one. He’s my closest friend apart from my better half. God has all along afforded me the opportunity of enjoying all the good things in life and now with improved health. I have a great family and have had my share of the best material things one aspires of sans the Beemer. But it doesn't matter anymore as I still consider myself truly blessed and a product of divine intervention. So I am now constantly making an endeavour to become more wealthy in the spiritual sense as material wealth has no summit. Even if you reach the summit, you never know when you might shamelessly fall. Though I am still struggling to strike the right balance between the spiritual and the material, I am sure I will soon strike gold !!!
I may not pray to God like many others but I am also not an athiest. My idea of worshipping God is a bit different from the herd. Wouldn't it be better if we cleanse ourselves and the world around us; instead of showing off our allegiance to God through all-night long Kirtans & bhajans (copied from bollywood tunes) blaring from loudspeakers and disturbing the peace of others ? Everybody has his own way of expressing faith. I strongly believe that there is a supreme power watching and protecting me at all times; to whom I can talk to in moments of despair and gaiety with equal ease. He has always shown me the right path and taken care of all my predicaments. Today, we see a lot of people converting to other faiths, religions and turning to fraudulent Godmen for enlightenment, a trend which I don't endorse at all. What is it that their own religion of birth has not given them ? Without deeply understanding their own religion they are needlessly flocking to other faiths as if God gave them retribution by thrusting upon them a religion by birth which is not of their choice. I know that all religions profess the same thing...to be good to others, act as harmless beings and serve the society in a selfless manner but alas the conversion still happens. So to each his own. It's a free world. Who am I to dictate my opinion on others ? I myself don't visit any temples/idols for the purpose of praying or for pressing my demands on God. I even hardly visit the small temple my parents have built in our house except when it becomes indispensable during the Ramayana or Diwali puja. Despite this, I still consider myself extremely close to my best friend than many others as I have a hearty talk with him every morning. I talk to him to show me the infallible path at all times, thank him for a wonderful life and also pray for the good health and well-being of my family and myself, if that is selfish so be it. About six years back, I learnt to stop praying to him to make me overly wealthy (as is the greed with all of us) when I had a bit of a health concern.
But in any case, I am rather fortunate that my renewed process of dealing with my best friend has not made me incur any pecuniary liabilities whatsoever. Somehow the finances are automatically arranged by him from some or the other source when I desperately need them under the most trying circumstances. My dear friend has never given me an opportunity to beg or borrow from anybody till now and hopefully never will in the future too. You bet, it’s my best friend who helps me in all the crunch situations. All the magic moments in my life have been truly due to my God’s intervention. Whenever I am in dire straits, I talk to him and he somewhat arranges for the much desired capital or rather I would say he creates an opportunity at work strictly out of the blue to earn it. He has never let me choke...God bless. It’s all his allure and magic spell. This is what makes him divine and my best friend. The least I can do for him in return is to become a virtuous and magnanimous being.
Though quite generous with me, but I am glad that he hasn't let me hit any bounty lest I may not remain his best friend. But he should not be insecure about me as I have truly reformed. I need my best friend for life, wealth or no wealth. I murmur to him every now and then for every good or bad happening to me. I am quite positive that I will never forget my best friend till my last breath, whether I die a king or a pauper. I really owe everything in this life to him. Since the last six years I have just craved for good health for myself (by trying to make a conscious effort to achieve it) and my family and also learnt to support the truly needy souls...material possessions are gradually becoming secondary though travelling to the unseen mystic destinations is still a desire. I have repeatedly conveyed to my best friend that I just don't want to sacrifice my health for material wealth. My health is the most precious to me as I aspire to live long enough to see my two daughters well educated and independently settled in life and thereafter stroll alongwith my wife towards the rising sun on the beach.
Till then I want to use my able-bodied human form (which in my opinion is my best friend's most treasured gift to me) for the most meaningful purposes so that when I bid farewell to this world, I would be so proud of him for having affored me that opportunity. OH MY GOD!!! am I a bit confused. I bet you all are...But I sincerely hope that this post inspires you all to make God your best friend and not look at him as a mere deity or a religious compulsion thrust upon you.
We are in 2010 and I have walked this mother earth for more than forty years. Now that I have travelled the world a bit (of course courtesy my best friend), done this and that to get somewhat vulnerable but a little wordly wise too, I think I can contribute a little by dedicating this blog to my dearest friend. Don't be alarmed if I tell you that he is nobody other than 'GOD' himself. I truly consider myself as my God’s chosen one. He’s my closest friend apart from my better half. God has all along afforded me the opportunity of enjoying all the good things in life and now with improved health. I have a great family and have had my share of the best material things one aspires of sans the Beemer. But it doesn't matter anymore as I still consider myself truly blessed and a product of divine intervention. So I am now constantly making an endeavour to become more wealthy in the spiritual sense as material wealth has no summit. Even if you reach the summit, you never know when you might shamelessly fall. Though I am still struggling to strike the right balance between the spiritual and the material, I am sure I will soon strike gold !!!
I may not pray to God like many others but I am also not an athiest. My idea of worshipping God is a bit different from the herd. Wouldn't it be better if we cleanse ourselves and the world around us; instead of showing off our allegiance to God through all-night long Kirtans & bhajans (copied from bollywood tunes) blaring from loudspeakers and disturbing the peace of others ? Everybody has his own way of expressing faith. I strongly believe that there is a supreme power watching and protecting me at all times; to whom I can talk to in moments of despair and gaiety with equal ease. He has always shown me the right path and taken care of all my predicaments. Today, we see a lot of people converting to other faiths, religions and turning to fraudulent Godmen for enlightenment, a trend which I don't endorse at all. What is it that their own religion of birth has not given them ? Without deeply understanding their own religion they are needlessly flocking to other faiths as if God gave them retribution by thrusting upon them a religion by birth which is not of their choice. I know that all religions profess the same thing...to be good to others, act as harmless beings and serve the society in a selfless manner but alas the conversion still happens. So to each his own. It's a free world. Who am I to dictate my opinion on others ? I myself don't visit any temples/idols for the purpose of praying or for pressing my demands on God. I even hardly visit the small temple my parents have built in our house except when it becomes indispensable during the Ramayana or Diwali puja. Despite this, I still consider myself extremely close to my best friend than many others as I have a hearty talk with him every morning. I talk to him to show me the infallible path at all times, thank him for a wonderful life and also pray for the good health and well-being of my family and myself, if that is selfish so be it. About six years back, I learnt to stop praying to him to make me overly wealthy (as is the greed with all of us) when I had a bit of a health concern.
But in any case, I am rather fortunate that my renewed process of dealing with my best friend has not made me incur any pecuniary liabilities whatsoever. Somehow the finances are automatically arranged by him from some or the other source when I desperately need them under the most trying circumstances. My dear friend has never given me an opportunity to beg or borrow from anybody till now and hopefully never will in the future too. You bet, it’s my best friend who helps me in all the crunch situations. All the magic moments in my life have been truly due to my God’s intervention. Whenever I am in dire straits, I talk to him and he somewhat arranges for the much desired capital or rather I would say he creates an opportunity at work strictly out of the blue to earn it. He has never let me choke...God bless. It’s all his allure and magic spell. This is what makes him divine and my best friend. The least I can do for him in return is to become a virtuous and magnanimous being.
Though quite generous with me, but I am glad that he hasn't let me hit any bounty lest I may not remain his best friend. But he should not be insecure about me as I have truly reformed. I need my best friend for life, wealth or no wealth. I murmur to him every now and then for every good or bad happening to me. I am quite positive that I will never forget my best friend till my last breath, whether I die a king or a pauper. I really owe everything in this life to him. Since the last six years I have just craved for good health for myself (by trying to make a conscious effort to achieve it) and my family and also learnt to support the truly needy souls...material possessions are gradually becoming secondary though travelling to the unseen mystic destinations is still a desire. I have repeatedly conveyed to my best friend that I just don't want to sacrifice my health for material wealth. My health is the most precious to me as I aspire to live long enough to see my two daughters well educated and independently settled in life and thereafter stroll alongwith my wife towards the rising sun on the beach.
Till then I want to use my able-bodied human form (which in my opinion is my best friend's most treasured gift to me) for the most meaningful purposes so that when I bid farewell to this world, I would be so proud of him for having affored me that opportunity. OH MY GOD!!! am I a bit confused. I bet you all are...But I sincerely hope that this post inspires you all to make God your best friend and not look at him as a mere deity or a religious compulsion thrust upon you.
Friday, January 22, 2010
A ROLLER-COASTER MELANGE
A LITTLE LATE IN THE DAY BUT ANYWAYS A VERY HAPPY & HEALTHY 2010 TO ALL. I must confess that I had a fantastic end to the last year gone by and a more than rollicking and rejuvenating start to the new year. But thereafter it was back in the dumps and to the harsh cruelties of life...a true roller-coaster experience. If I may say so, then nothing less than "an enthralling and dismal melange of happenings". First, the reasons for a happy ending to 2009 : Watched and immensely enjoyed the biggest bollywood hit till date (no points for guessing...3 idiots it was) with my family on Christmas day followed by mouth watering Dominos ultra cheesy burst pizzas. At last most parents (after watching the film) would probably now allow their children to follow their professional passions even if they seem idiotic at first. The days of only choosing to be either a doctor, CA or an Engineer are passe. So mark my words that the Gen-Y kids undoubtedly would be happy and successful doing their own thing which they are truly passionate about. Then on the 28th, we had a Silver jubilee reunion of several of my old school friends and batchmates at Dublin, Maurya which was extremely nostalgic and full of lovely memories. On the 29th, I flew out of the country with family in tow to Dubai for a short vacation to usher in the new year. Next, the reasons for a happy beginning to 2010 : The first five days of 2010 were the best ever to start a new year till date, what with going the whole hog on cruises, snow parks, aquariums, safaris, dune bashing, belly dancing, binging, therapeutic shopping in the swankiest of Dubai Malls and having a high after watching Burj Khalifa ( the tallest building in the world) alongwith musical fountains...all in a week's time. Who said holidays are for relaxing??? But no complaints as mine was terrific since it soothed my mind, if not the body.
Alas!! the Roller-coaster had to start its downward journey. So the cracker of a holiday had to end and we finally landed in Delhi, rather forcefuly brought back to mother earth. Back home in Gurgaon we are welcomed by the coldest January in a decade or so, massive fog and darkness all over...what with 12-15 hour daily power cuts doing the rounds of the so called millennium city. I sometimes doubt whether we are still living in the 21st Century :-(. I think Pandora, the planet (in the blockbuster movie "Avatar") was any day better. The roads and water situation is equally deplorable...the infrastructure of the city literally sucks but the real estate prices in Gurgaon continue to rise unabated as if its the new Manhattan. I don't know why more and more people (unprecedented demand could be reason for the booming real estate) are flocking to Gurgaon despite the infrastructure being in shambles. Maybe the Fortune 500 companies with their swanky offices are attracting them to take up jobs here unmindful of their residential woes. I bet, the bubble will soon burst if the State and Central Governments don't wake up from their prolonged slumber and get serious about the pathetic infrastructure soon enough.It appears that the Government thinks that Gurgaon is inhabited only by the affluent who can in any case generate their own electricity. What a shameful thought to have in the largest democracy of the world!!!
And then out of the blue I had a date with rising food prices when my dear wifey told me about shooting prices of basic vegetables like onions & potatoes and items like sugar, pulses etc. The act of squandering dough on our just concluded vacation felt neurotic and queasy for a moment. Nah! Nah! don't be stupid, it was real fun and great bonding time with the family after a long time. Sometimes, I really feel sorry for single bread-earner families having monthly income of no more than rupees 5K. Can they even afford two square meals a day in these inflationary times? It's easy for me to write about it, but I can very well comprehend their daily plight and we should all consider ourselves truly blessed. However, it doesn't mean the Government and the well-heeled should stop worrying about them. The least the Government can do is to avoid making controversial statements like the one made by our flip-flop Agriculture minister about rising milk and sugar prices and their scarcity. It was the last thing one would have expected him to utter during his press conference. Sadly, it would have surely alerted the hoarders and black marketeers.
The roller-coaster downward slide still continues with the racists(???) attacks on Indians in Australia going on unabated and well into the new year as well. The Australian government is giving pacifying statements in the media that they are not racist attacks and they are booking the culprits but in reality all these statements are not producing any favourable results. If these are not racist, then why only Indians and not other races are being attacked. Looks like some Australian gang has caught fancy of the Indians. This entire episode is quite despicable and must stop immediately if we are to continue visiting Australia not only for education but for that matter tourism as well.
Last but not the least, I feel extremely despondent and distressed for the lacs who lost their lives in the recent Haiti earthquakes, their close ones and also at the massive devastation of the city. If your heart bleeds for the people of Haiti (like me) then please show some compassion by coming forward to donate for the cause to Red Cross at their American Red Cross website. The link is https://american.redcross.org/site/Donation2?idb=575848076&df_id=4437&4437.donation=form1
And by the way I am still waiting impatiently for the roller-coaster to take me up again fast...ha...ha!!!
Alas!! the Roller-coaster had to start its downward journey. So the cracker of a holiday had to end and we finally landed in Delhi, rather forcefuly brought back to mother earth. Back home in Gurgaon we are welcomed by the coldest January in a decade or so, massive fog and darkness all over...what with 12-15 hour daily power cuts doing the rounds of the so called millennium city. I sometimes doubt whether we are still living in the 21st Century :-(. I think Pandora, the planet (in the blockbuster movie "Avatar") was any day better. The roads and water situation is equally deplorable...the infrastructure of the city literally sucks but the real estate prices in Gurgaon continue to rise unabated as if its the new Manhattan. I don't know why more and more people (unprecedented demand could be reason for the booming real estate) are flocking to Gurgaon despite the infrastructure being in shambles. Maybe the Fortune 500 companies with their swanky offices are attracting them to take up jobs here unmindful of their residential woes. I bet, the bubble will soon burst if the State and Central Governments don't wake up from their prolonged slumber and get serious about the pathetic infrastructure soon enough.It appears that the Government thinks that Gurgaon is inhabited only by the affluent who can in any case generate their own electricity. What a shameful thought to have in the largest democracy of the world!!!
And then out of the blue I had a date with rising food prices when my dear wifey told me about shooting prices of basic vegetables like onions & potatoes and items like sugar, pulses etc. The act of squandering dough on our just concluded vacation felt neurotic and queasy for a moment. Nah! Nah! don't be stupid, it was real fun and great bonding time with the family after a long time. Sometimes, I really feel sorry for single bread-earner families having monthly income of no more than rupees 5K. Can they even afford two square meals a day in these inflationary times? It's easy for me to write about it, but I can very well comprehend their daily plight and we should all consider ourselves truly blessed. However, it doesn't mean the Government and the well-heeled should stop worrying about them. The least the Government can do is to avoid making controversial statements like the one made by our flip-flop Agriculture minister about rising milk and sugar prices and their scarcity. It was the last thing one would have expected him to utter during his press conference. Sadly, it would have surely alerted the hoarders and black marketeers.
The roller-coaster downward slide still continues with the racists(???) attacks on Indians in Australia going on unabated and well into the new year as well. The Australian government is giving pacifying statements in the media that they are not racist attacks and they are booking the culprits but in reality all these statements are not producing any favourable results. If these are not racist, then why only Indians and not other races are being attacked. Looks like some Australian gang has caught fancy of the Indians. This entire episode is quite despicable and must stop immediately if we are to continue visiting Australia not only for education but for that matter tourism as well.
Last but not the least, I feel extremely despondent and distressed for the lacs who lost their lives in the recent Haiti earthquakes, their close ones and also at the massive devastation of the city. If your heart bleeds for the people of Haiti (like me) then please show some compassion by coming forward to donate for the cause to Red Cross at their American Red Cross website. The link is https://american.redcross.org/site/Donation2?idb=575848076&df_id=4437&4437.donation=form1
And by the way I am still waiting impatiently for the roller-coaster to take me up again fast...ha...ha!!!
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